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sound

The rain is pouring a little
We need to drive a little slow. 

Talking while driving home,
I feel better that's what I know. 

And there the ambulance running
Its sound gave me an awkward feeling

I thought the feeling I've overcome years ago
But I guess, not that time when we're driving home

I remember Mom's look,
it's complete sadness written in books. 

Silence enveloped the atmosphere
T'was only your dying breathe I hear.

I was feeling numb back then
Really didn't know what, where and when. 

Sitting inside a moving box, 
Running in a hundred twenty kph max. 

Can't do anything to make things better
And this mind can't even stay inside, it wanders. 

What if's and if only's are overflowing
Regrets and plans for restitution were overwhelming.

Losing someone as phenomenal as you
is what really breaks my heart more than two. 

Our chit-chats until 2 AM
is what I miss more than anything. 

Eating junks with drinks at lunch.
Your untold-unseen life are stories in bunch. 

You counsel me so frankly
Though you're always far but you're ready. 

Yes, I miss those good old mem'ries with you
But I know there's nothing I can do.

I know I'm feeling better now
but the mem'ries are still vivid like a show. 

though maybe I got used to the feeling
of missing and yearning yet still believing. 

I'd be seeing you in the end. 
not in this life but after, that's how I mend. 

Mem'ries with you may not be perfectly happy
but nothing can ever change the happiness for having you in the family. 

There may be sounds that make that buried part  of me quiver.
I still hold on to an eternal promise that families are forever. 

1639-S9042019

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dripping

i told myself not to cry
not for the same reason everytime
never will this happen
i promised, never again
i thought i was okay with it.
that it shouldn't matter to me
thinking i'm over it wholely
i understood it completely
especially that
people have their own minds
and it depends on their choice
what to think and understand.
but then... here it goes again.
it flashes right in front of me
that everything else turned black.
i realized inwasn't over it.
yes, not an inch.
because reality calls like a pinch.
and i'm devastated
i might break the promise i made.
but as i pondered ev'rything
i realized it wasn't that
i didn't break it
and i never would
because as i walk through it
i noticed there are still drips
it never really stopped pouring
it has been there all along
my tears kept dripping invisibly
it never really stopped.
i was crying with a smile
and those tears drip invisibly

1825-10152019